i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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