is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
