I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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