honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
