I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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