I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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