well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
