I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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