Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
