we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
