Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
