You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
