Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
