They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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