tell your sister to shave her snatch
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
