what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
