Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
