No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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