So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think I just sharted jello shots
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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