and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
