Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
