I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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