he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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