3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
