I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
