16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
