My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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