I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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