your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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