oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
