On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm lost and stupid without you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
