Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
