Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
