I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
