Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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