shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
