nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
