Your mouth is God's brothel.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
