the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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