i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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