a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
