just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
