I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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