Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A+ Viking dick
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
