I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You were trust falling into bushes
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
