I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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