Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
