On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
