Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
