i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
